LIFE'S A GRIND-14

LIFE'S A GRIND-14

Jack Scribe
  
The usual disclaimers apply.  If for some legal reason you shouldn't read 
this...don't.
  
 Comments are appreciated at jack.scribe@gmail.com. 
 __________________________
   
Chapter 14, SAD TIMES, GOOD TIMES...AND IN BETWEEN
 
"Son," Ellen Sloan said to Jeremy, "as your sister told you, I'm not at 
surprised that you possess more than a few of the genes that my brother 
had. Win was a good man and all I can hope for is that you follow his 
example and lead a good life. If your friend turns out to be even half as 
good as Karl was, you'll be very lucky and I'll honor him as another son."
 
The small family unit enjoyed a quiet dinner on the evening after the late 
Sunday gathering Jeremy had at Marché with Charlie, Zach and Will. As 
Naomi had predicted, there was no hesitation on their mom's part to 
accept Jeremy's homosexuality. Mrs. Sloan had pulled out an old family 
meat loaf recipe and directed the siblings in its preparation. After 
Jeremy's revelation, the final course of the successful dinner was banana 
chocolate chip cake that Naomi had picked up from the nearby Sweet 
Mandy B's. Brother and sister cleaned up while their mother settled 
down for the news and, later, Jay Leno's Tonight Show. Eventually, 
Jeremy, stifling a yawn, decided it was time to get some sleep. He gave 
his mother a kiss on the forehead, told her he loved her and wished her a 
goodnight. He was physically exhausted from the weekend of dancing – 
especially the boys' night - and despite it going well, was emotionally 
drained from the dinner.
 
The next morning at seven, refreshed, a briefs-clad Jeremy got out of 
bed, completed his pit stop once his morning wood had deflated and 
went to the kitchen to make coffee. He thought it strange when he heard 
the television audio with one of the morning shows and even stranger that 
his mom was up. She never got up that early. He walked up to his mom 
and knew immediately what had happened. Ellen Sloan's eyes blankly 
stared forward and her mouth was open. A shattering shiver raced 
through his body and rapidly flashing images of earlier years raced 
through his mind. "Oh, Ma," he quavered to her lifeless body, "this is it?" 
Trembling, he bit his fingers and felt the sudden onrush of tears.
 
Boy Scout training kicked in and Jeremy tried to find a pulse...without 
success. He gently closed her eyes and studied this still, peaceful form for 
a few moments until the crying ran its course. He then grabbed the nearby 
remote, turned off the television set and rapidly went to his sister's room. 
He knew Naomi didn't have a class until later and always was the last to 
awaken.
 
"Naomi, wake up," Jeremy said loudly as he pounded on her bedroom 
door. "I need your help." His near shout faded in a gurgle when his 
tightened throat betrayed him.
 
"I'm coming," came the voice from her room. "What on earth is 
wrong?"  Naomi opened the door and gave Jeremy a confused, puzzled 
look. By habit, she wore only an old, over-sized tee shirt.
 
"It's Mom. She's...she's gone. In the living room," he blurted out, urgently.
 
"Oh, my...of course." Naomi grabbed her robe and tried to put it on 
while following Jeremy to the living room.
 
"I found her just a few minutes ago. The television was still on. I, ah, 
closed her eyes, turned off the TV and checked for a pulse."
 
Naomi, being a skilled nursing student, automatically checked for any 
vital signs at both the wrist and throat. She stood back and looked sadly 
at the slumped form of their mother. It almost looked like the older 
woman was asleep in the easy chair. "Jeremy, she probably passed away 
several hours ago...before 1:00 a.m., since the TV was still on." Naomi 
grimaced and fought unsuccessfully to hold back her tears.
 
Jeremy pulled her close and held her. "Hey, Sis, we'll make it through 
this." Her reaction triggered more tears from Jeremy. "I guess it was 
Mom's time." This time, however, his tears trickled out in a slow and 
determined manner.
 
Naomi let loose, and cried harder...wetting Jeremy's bare chest. Finally 
the sobbing subsided. She took a deep breath, looked up into Jeremy's 
eyes and said, "Thanks, Jer. I think I'm fine for now. Would you call the 
non-emergency number for the police and tell them what happened? 
They'll also dispatch an EMS team to verify Mom's dead."
 
"Yeah, I'll take care of that. Anything else we should do?"
 
"No...not right now. Let me put on some clothes real fast and you do the 
same thing. You might as well brush your teeth cuz it's going to be a long 
morning."
 
"Right." Jeremy went to the kitchen to telephone while Naomi stood 
silently by her mom's body for another moment before she moved away.
 
In less than 15 minutes, the now presentable brother answered the door 
when the EMS arrived. A few minutes later, a Chicago policeman was on 
the scene. With their interviews logged and an estimation of the death 
time based on rigor mortis, everyone was satisfied that a natural death 
had occurred and marked the time of death as 1:00 a.m. The policeman 
notified the coroner's office and received approval to mark the case 
closed without any need to perform an autopsy. By 8:15 a.m., the 
officials had departed and the siblings went into the kitchen to make 
coffee. They were exhausted and needed something 'normal' to do.
 
"I knew Mom wouldn't last for long with her condition. It's just so weird 
to have her...body in the next room and know that we'll never talk to 
each other again." Almost by rote, Jeremy measured out the coffee and 
poured the water into the Mr. Coffee. 
 
"That dinner last night is especially important now...our final sit-down with 
Mom. I know she was very happy. And she loved the meat loaf we 
made." Naomi's sad smile tried to mask a few more tears.
 
"Yeah...I felt that, too. I guess I'd better call Bobby and tell him what's 
going on. He can let the school know I won't be in today."
 
"Good idea. And I'll call one of my classmates before I contact 
Northwestern."
 
A couple of years ago, Mrs. Sloan had decided she wanted her body 
donated to medical science and she registered with the Northwestern 
University Medical School. The ailing woman's decision was driven in 
part by good citizenship but more by economics. They were too poor to 
afford mortician or crematorium services and she decided that this was 
the easiest way to efficiently "tidy up loose ends after I'm gone," as she 
put it. The only costs they would have were twenty bucks for copies of a 
Cook County death certificate. 
 
Jeremy and Naomi sat quietly in the living room lost in their thoughts. 
Occasionally, they would share a memory about their mother. Although it 
was not said, both realized this was the last time they would see ever her 
again. Mid-morning, two attendants from the medical school arrived to 
pick up their mother's remains. Naomi signed the release forms after the 
body was laid on a gurney and placed in a gray body bag. Jeremy and 
Naomi accompanied the attendants outside to an un-marked black van 
and said a final, respectful goodbye. It was almost eleven and the day 
was dimly cast in dark, pale gray.
 
Notifying close family was a moot issue. Ellen's parents were gone, as 
well as Uncle Win. They had to make final official phone calls to the 
insurance company that electronically deposited a pittance of a monthly 
payment into the family bank account, and to Social Security.
 
"I think that we need to clean ourselves up and get out of here for a 
while. We can go through Mom's stuff later. I think what we should do is 
to have lunch someplace and then go over to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. 
Even though we're not Catholic, somehow lighting candles and offering a 
prayer for her seems the right thing to do."
 
"Sis, that's a super idea. Maybe we can eat at Ann Sather's on Belmont? 
It's not that far from the church. Also, I should leave a message for 
Charlie. He's in classes until about four."
 
"That's cool. We can come back here after prayer and start sorting out 
her things. I think I know where all the family pictures and papers are. If 
you don't mind, I want to work my 3:00 p.m. shift. I need to keep busy 
and the hospital will be a good place for that."
 
"I'll probably spend time with Charlie. If I'm not here when you get back 
from work, you'll know where I am. But I plan on going to school 
tomorrow."
 
"I understand, brother-mine." Naomi gave him a big hug. "It's just us, 
now. We have to be each other's pillars."
 
*****
 
Jeremy found a substitute to fill in for his Bally's shift and by 5:00 p.m. 
was at Charlie's apartment - backpack in hand. When the door opened, 
the vision of his buddy was like the transference of ethereal, restorative 
energy. Entering the room to Charlie was great comfort. Being held 
protectively in the arms of his lover was infinitely more therapeutic. For 
several minutes, he stood silently with his head leaning on Charlie's 
shoulder as he let his emotions release. He couldn't remember the last 
time he had sobbed so completely without holding anything back. All the 
time, Charlie stroked his head and whispered encouragement. Finally, 
Jeremy dried up, wiped his eyes and tenderly kissed his rock of a man.
 
"Thanks, Babe. It's that day you know is coming...but you really aren't 
prepared for it. I mean I knew she wasn't very healthy and all...just didn't 
think it would happen this suddenly. She was only 45."
 
"That's ten years younger than my folks - at 55 they're still pretty active. 
Sit down, babe, and I'll get us drinks. You want a coke, or something 
stronger?" Charlie led him to the couch by hand and stood by as Jeremy 
sank into the cushions.
 
"If you have beer, I think that'll hit the spot."
 
"Beer coming up for both of us," Charlie responded as he walked to the 
kitchen.
 
For the next half hour, Jeremy described his day and over another round 
talked about his mother's wishes concerning the donation of her body. 
His visit to the Church had been a very positive and spiritual sendoff. 
Naomi and he both felt they had communicated with a divine being as 
they lit candles. Afterwards, they had returned home and tentatively 
looked through all the important papers that their mom kept in a locked 
drawer. They decided to spend the upcoming Saturday weeding out her 
possessions: a keep pile, a toss away pile and a Salvation Army donation 
pile.
 
"You're doing okay?" Charlie asked.
 
"Definitely, now. Being here with you really helps."
 
"That's what we do for each other. Hon, you're the most important 
person in my life. Whatever you need...I'll take care of." Charlie moved 
his hand to Jeremy's neck and firmly rubbed it.
 
"I feel the same way," Jeremy replied. "It'll take a while to register that 
she's gone. We had a tight but not very typical family. You know about 
my Uncle Win. I never knew my father. He split before I was born. So 
that was one set of grandparents down the drain. Mom's parents passed 
away six or seven years ago - within a year of each other. So, now it's 
just Naomi and me." Jeremy let out a long sigh before taking a sip of 
beer. "We may have some distant relatives in Indiana...I just don't know 
who or where they are."
 
"When you're up to it, we'll get together with my folks for dinner. Mom 
will love you and Dad will be tolerantly polite. I've already emailed my 
brother and he looks forward to meeting you when he and his wife come 
out for a visit this summer. They have several gay friends in Manhattan 
and are great."
 
"Not having Mom around is going to give Sis and me more time to get on 
with our lives. She's about to finish nursing school; between home and the 
hospital job she hasn't had much of a chance to work on her social life. 
And, after I graduate this summer, I'll be able to be scheduled for private 
parties...once you get me trained."
 
"Let's talk about the Barecats. Are you going to need any down time this 
weekend? We'll need to call Garin if that's a possibility."
 
"Naw, I'm cool. I plan on returning to school tomorrow and working will 
be the best thing for me to do. Naomi and I need to plan a new schedule 
at home...but that's no big deal. It'll be more like being roommates with 
her. I'll stay here tonight and start a new routine tomorrow."
 
"Whatever you need, Babe it's yours. Speaking of which, how about us 
going out for some food. It's after six and I'm getting hungry."
 
"Me, too. Any ideas where we could go?"
 
"Let's go over to Penny's Noodle Shop on Sheffield. It's terrific Thai food 
and cheap. When we get back, I'll need to spend some time on a paper 
that's due."
 
"I've got some studying to do, too, and brought a few books. There are a 
couple of chapters I need to read. And then I'll be ready for a new 
experience," Jeremy said with a small smile.
 
"New? What's that?"
 
"Since we've become boyfriends, we've never had the opportunity to 
sleep together overnight. Tonight is kind of our honeymoon." Jeremy 
snickered suggestively and kissed Charlie on the cheek.
 
"Wow, I hadn't thought about that - but you're right. The big question is: 
do you snore?"
 
"I don't think so. Jeez, I've never been with anyone to find out. Guess 
we'll find out tonight. Oh...which side of the bed do you want?"
 
"That's easy, Jer. I'm almost anal about being near the clock radio."
 
"Good. That's all settled. Charlie, I really appreciate how you're helping 
me and want you to know that my love for you just gets stronger every 
day."
 
"Me, too, Babe." Charlie twisted around and brought his lips to Jeremy's 
and secured a kiss that was somewhere between an 'I love you, you're 
mine' reassurance peck and a tongue-drilling 'let's get nekkid and fuck' 
lip-lock. Jeremy responded with just as much passion; both were learning 
the different levels of lovemaking. That night was a demonstration of their 
love fulfilled by touching, nuzzling and cuddling. 
 
The next morning, Charlie dropped Jeremy off at Robert Stein's house. 
Jeremy wanted to tell Bobby the full situation before school. Mrs. Stein, 
as promised, had made a large breakfast for the two young men. After 
condolences from the Steins and Jeremy's reassurance he was doing fine, 
she went up to her bedroom and Robert's father left for work. Alone with 
his best friend, Jeremy related all the details of the previous day right up 
to his dinner with Charlie.
 
"You wanna stay here at night for a while?" Robert asked as he stood up 
to gather the dirty dishes. When Jeremy started to help him, Robert 
silently waved his hand for him to sit down.
 
"Much appreciated...but I've got to help Naomi settle things. It'll be 
strange, though, going home tonight to find no one there."
 
"You're going to work...at both places?"
 
"Yeah. I need the diversion now and the money. Plus, I feel safe 
whenever I'm around Charlie. Nothing clingy, ya understand. Just 
reassuring..."
 
"That's super to have a relationship at a time like this. Just remember, Jer, 
if Charlie's not available we're still best friends."
 
"Bobby, that goes without saying. I know we'll always love each other 
and you'll be there for me...and vise versa." He stood and they silently 
held each other.
 
"Between you, Charlie, Sis and the others...I'll get through this. This week 
will be pretty light at work with Good Friday coming up. And there's no 
performance on Sunday due to Easter. I think that Naomi and I will 
attend Easter services at Fourth Presbyterian on Michigan Avenue with 
Charlie and go to brunch afterwards at the 95th in the Hancock." In 
Chicago, this verbal shorthand meant The Signature Room on one of the 
top floors of the John Hancock Building - America's fourth-tallest 
skyscraper and a Michigan Avenue landmark. "Charlie's making 
reservations. This is the first time they've seen each other since...they 
dated. It's my new nuclear family. Strange, huh?"
 
"Naw...it's cool and very 21st century. You'll have a good time at the 
restaurant. I've only been up there once and it'll be a great place for the 
three of you. I'll offer a little prayer for you and all at the 'gogue' this 
Friday night."
 
"Now that is cool. Thanks." 
 
The rest of the week was a period of healing and adjustment. Jeremy's 
classmates gave him respectful space, Zach offered a big brother's 
shoulder and his fellow Barecats lent unconditional support. Naomi 
experienced the same thing at her school and the hospital.
 
During the week, all of the family papers, photographs and documents 
were reviewed and re-filed. The last responsibility by the siblings was 
sorting out their mother's clothing and meager possessions. Saturday was 
rather anti-climatic...for most of the day. With the help of Robert and his 
car, clothing of any value was taken to the Salvation Army for those less 
fortunate. While they were driving back to the Sloan apartment, Robert 
received a call on his cell that changed the pace of the day. His mother 
had picked up the early edition of the Sunday Trib and relayed the news 
that the magazine supplement included the big spring fashion spread.  She 
was surprised to find Jeremy prominently displayed in the layout.
 
"Holy, sh...ah, crap. I'd forgotten about that completely. The pictures 
were taken months ago," Jeremy said. "Bobby, would you mind stopping 
by the corner store so I can buy a copy?"
 
"Sure thing. Jeez, I can't let you out of my sight for a minute for fear you'll 
be up to something else," Robert replied with a laugh.
 
"I remember you mentioning the fashion pictures...but that was a long 
time ago. I'm dying to see my little brother doing his thing." Naomi, sitting 
in the front seat, turned, blew a kiss and winked at Jeremy.
 
"Pictures, first." Jeremy returned the wink. He recalled that Naomi was 
going to be part of a bachelorette group that would celebrate at the club 
in May.
 
Robert stopped curbside and Jeremy trotted inside the small 
neighborhood market. He returned a few minutes later with two papers. 
He gave one edition to Naomi and tore apart the other one to find the 
magazine. They each found the glossy supplement about the same time 
and gazed at the cover. There was Jeremy, standing with a beautiful 
female model, wearing ensembles that were identified from the Spring, 
2007 Paul Smith Collection. 
 
"This is great...did you know they'd be using you on the cover?" Naomi 
asked.
 
"No. It's a complete surprise. And I did my photo shoot solo. The editors 
must have decided to fuse our images and highlight the one designer."
 
"Man, you'll be a bitch to be around after this," Robert said, looking at 
Naomi's copy. "Don't get a big head or anything, but that's a terrific cover 
picture. Turn to the other pictures."
 
"Still the same old simple Jer."
 
"Yeah, right. Like you're not going to be the pinup of every horny teen – 
girl or boy - in Chicago." Robert rolled his eyes and looked at Jeremy.
 
"Sis, you should know that I told Robert about me being gay."
 
"And...?" Naomi asked as she looked up at Robert.
 
"He's still my best friend. In fact...it's one more thing we have in 
common," Robert replied with a shrug.
 
"We came out to each other this past winter, just before you and I had 
our talk," Jeremy busily turned to the photo spread pages and hoped that 
his sister would do the same thing. 'No reason to tell her how we came 
out,' he decided while he checked the magazine. "Oh, they used several 
of me."
 
"Hmmm," was all Naomi said as she carefully looked at the pictures. 
Only the sound of breathing interrupted the silence while the threesome 
reviewed the layout. "Well," she finally added, "it looks like you've got a 
career with this modeling thing if you want."
 
"I'd appreciate it if y'all downplayed it...especially at school," Jeremy 
said. "Right now what I really need a free pass."
 
"You got it. I'll let the other guys know not to give you any crap for at 
least a week." Robert smiled and added, "But after the girls see your 
show...all bets are off."
 
"What girls?" Naomi asked.
 
"Next weekend, Rachael - Robert's ex - is celebrating her birthday at the 
Barecats club. A good friend of mine heard about it and passed it on. It'll 
be a real surprise when I dance on stage."
 
"Not so little brother, I think that you are definitely going to be the talk of 
the school...whether you like it or not. My advice is for us to enjoy the 
Easter weekend and then suck it up because you're definitely going to be 
in the spotlight - in several places," Naomi said with a chuckle. "Robert, I 
think that we need to go home and relax for a while. Thanks for all your 
help."
 
"I'll always be available for the Sloan kids," Robert said with a wink as he 
turned the ignition to start the car.
 
That Sunday, Naomi, Charlie and Jeremy arrived early enough at Fourth 
Presbyterian to find street parking and seats on the main floor for the 
9:30 a.m. Easter Service. Naomi was dressed in her all-occasion white 
blazer, skirt and heels while the guys wore dark suits. Jeremy noticed that 
several people in the congregation seemed to recognize him. He smiled 
and laughed as he wickedly wondered if it was the magazine or the 
dancing that had jogged their memory.
 
The buffet at The Signature Room was superb as the cloud-free view of 
the city and lake. Best of all was the way Charlie and Naomi fell back 
into an instant familiarity. They recalled happy memories of their times
together four years earlier. At the end of brunch, they all knew that a 
special friendship had emerged amongst them. They laughed to each 
other about Charlie's status as Naomi's brother-in-law while the express 
elevator whisked them back to the ground floor.
 
*****
 
At first, Jeremy wasn't sure if Garin would go along with his idea for the 
Saturday performance his female classmates would be attending. His plan 
was for all the dancers to wear black masks in the opening chorus, to be 
followed immediately by his Joe College number. He would keep on his 
mask until he was down to only his thong in the runway routine. At that 
point, Charlie would come out on stage, in his fireman's costume with a 
large "Happy Birthday, Rachael" sign.
 
Garin thought the idea was a crowd-pleaser and gave it a green light. He 
knew that Jeremy was nervous about girls from his school being in the 
audience and wanted to put his rising star at ease. He was also 
sympathetic to the recent passing of Jeremy's mom.
 
That evening, Jeremy was rather quiet and paced backstage as the 
audience for the first show filled the club. Tommy's further sleuthing had 
confirmed that Rachael and seven other girls - three who were Jeremy's 
former girlfriends - would be coming to the early performance. He 
recognized them at their location halfway back on the right when he 
peered out through the curtains while the house lights were still on. He 
was a little relieved that the girls weren't close to the runway. 
 
He stepped back, lowered his head and thought for a moment about his 
life - where he had been and where he was going. Jeremy offered a silent 
prayer for his mother and felt proud that he had made her happy while 
she was alive. He thanked God for the strength the 'man upstairs' had 
given Mom to successfully raise to her kids by herself...especially with 
her physical challenges. His thoughts were interrupted by the first music 
cue; the show was ready to begin.
 
The opening number, "Celebration", was well received by the audience 
and none of the cast felt wearing the mask to the conclusion was a 
liability. Jeremy took a deep breath and waited for his solo music to 
begin. The marching music started and he headed out on stage. His heart 
started pounding when the spotlight hit his body and masked face, and his 
adrenalin kicked in as he got fully into his act. He worked extra hard to 
project his character and the fresh sexuality that was becoming natural to 
him. Several times, his eyes shifted over to the girls' area but due to the 
lighting he couldn't identify any of their faces. There was palpable 
excitement in the audience: he was receiving the women's energy and 
feeding it back by taking his performance to a new level he had not yet 
experienced...except for that one boys' night a couple of weeks earlier.
 
Jeremy pulled away his pants as the final chords of "Go U Northwestern" 
were playing. He was now down to his thong, cap...and, for tonight, the 
mask. He turned around, shook his buns and briefly bent at the waist. As 
rehearsed, he faced the club again and tossed off the cap. He pulled off 
the mask as the final chords of the song played and abruptly the stage 
went dark.
 
'The applause was better than usual for an early show,' Jeremy thought, 
as he blotted his sweat with a towel. He listened for his music cue and the 
runway tip dance. The lights came on as the first beats of "Shake Your 
Booty" rocked the speakers. Jeremy tossed the towel aside and started 
his dance onto the runway. He saw his classmates in the seats identified 
earlier. Their expressions ranged from surprise to shock to delight. Out of 
the corner of his eye, Jeremy saw Charlie arrive on the runway carrying a 
large sign that proclaimed Rachael's birthday greetings. While Jeremy 
danced in the background, Charlie moved forward with the beat and held 
up the sign. When he was near Rachael, he looked in her direction and, 
as the soundman stopped the music and the lights were brought up 
slightly, yelled "Happy Birthday."
 
Someone towards the back started singing the traditional birthday song 
and Charlie sang along as he pointed to the sign that showed Rachael's 
name. By the time the song was finished, the entire crowd was cheering 
for the laughing and slightly embarrassed birthday girl. Charlie bowed, 
nodded to the soundman and left the stage. Jeremy was so proud that 
Charlie had effectively pulled off the playful stunt. He could tell from their 
expressions that Rachael and her friends were having fun.
 
Slowly the houselights dimmed again and Jeremy revved up for his 
runway dance. The birthday singing had really loosened up the crowd 
and there were plenty of women waving paper currency. He approached 
them one by one, he darting himself forward and angling just right to 
receive his tips. The typical one-dollar bills were evident at the beginning, 
but as he arrived mid-point on the runway the denominations became 
larger. He noticed some women pointing at him as they smiled and talked 
to each other. 'Must be a Trib-reading crowd I'm working,' he decided 
as he dipped for a ten spot. He allowed a little lingering of fingers by one 
woman after she slipped a twenty towards the front of his thong.
 
He turned and there was Rachael by the runway, smiling ...holding two 
tens. Jeremy danced over to her edge, planted his feet wide and lowered 
his body in a very suggestive way. He thrust his left pelvis forward and 
was pleased that Rachael picked up on the move. She slid one of the ten-
dollar bills into the left side band of his packed, form-fitting thong, 
whereupon he did a few bumps and then thrust the right side of his body 
toward her. He winked as she attached the other ten. "Happy 18th, 
young lady," he shouted to her before dancing away towards the other 
waiting women.
 
"I think you need to explain a few things," Rachael yelled back.
 
"Lunch next week...my treat."
 
The second KC and the Sunshine Band song finished as he left the 
runway and stage. That meant the show was perfectly on schedule and 
the little extra birthday moment hadn't hurt the overall performance. 
Jeremy loved the enthusiasm and applause from the audience and was 
relieved that his double life had been revealed.
 
*****
 
The next morning, all the guys were listening intently as Jeremy told them 
about his Barecats affiliation and a few of the performing details. As pre-
arranged, Tommy, Sam and Robert had corralled the others from their 
group at the restaurant so Jeremy could let them know what he'd been 
doing at his new job. They sat at a large, round table and seemed 
fascinated learning this other side of Jeremy. He could tell that a few were 
really turned on by his tale.
 
"Buddy, I've only seen pictures on the Internet but you mean that you're 
prancing around a stage wearing nothing more than a jock?" asked one of 
Tommy's swimmer teammates.
 
"If it was a jock, I'd feel fully-dressed. The thong doesn't cover 
much...and please consider my skillful dancing as more than just prancing 
around," Jeremy replied with a laugh.
 
"Jeremy, I think we've all seen each other in the shower at school. What 
you're packing would be hard to hide. Speaking of which, do you ever 
get...?"
 
"Ewww, I take the fifth." Jeremy put an exaggerated expression of shock 
on his face and continued, "Let's just say that most of the time, I'm pretty 
careful about getting, you know, a woodie. And by the way, Mr. Size 
Queen, you also do pretty well in the equipment area." Jeremy was 
amused that his friends could discuss checking out other guys without 
embarrassment. Straight guys would never admit to this common male 
habit of visually comparing another's endowment.
 
"Damn...I got a boyfriend and now you tell me that I might've had a 
chance." The table reacted to the light banter with a round of snickers 
and chuckles. "Seriously, dude, it really sounds fun and the money must 
be good. Hope it all works out for you."
 
"Thanks. I appreciate that. The thing is, Rachael and her peeps 
celebrated her birthday at the show last night and I wanted all of you to 
find out about this from me before it hits the school gossip mill tomorrow. 
With the other stuff that's happened to me - Mom, and the magazine 
pictures - I need your support and a little back-covering."
 
"Meaning?" asked the Troy Tuturno, a sophomore tight end on the 
football team.
 
"I'm prepared for a little razzing about the Barecats and the Trib thing – 
but there are a few assholes at school that might try to make my life 
difficult. Some of those homophobic turds are probably aware that we
 also perform a few 'men only' shows and may try to make a gay-hating
 deal out of it. The last thing I need is for a group of queer baiters trying
 to pound my ass. But, when push comes to shove, I have no problem
 coming out to those animals and fighting back one-on-one. A couple of
 those guys haven't liked me since grade school and always travel in a
 pack."
 
"I see what you mean," Troy replied. "There are a few senior linebackers 
who have a pretty mean streak about gays. However, we've got other 
teammates who will take them on. Let me enlist a few of my friends to 
help out."
 
"And the swim team will be on your side."
 
"Good...that's all I could ask for. By the way, for you guys now 18 - or 
with great fake I.D.'s - there's another boys' night coming up in a couple
 of weeks," Jeremy said. "Sunday, April 29th, to be exact. I know you'd
 enjoy the show."
 
"Wow. An evening with 400 gay guys watching hot studs bump crotches 
and shake buns at us...where do I sign up?" asked Troy with an 
exaggerated leer.
 
"Here's the plan, horn dogs," Tommy replied. "We all get together at my 
place around five and carpool down to the club. It's an early show so 
we'll be back to the house by about 8:30 for burgers. The only thing 
is...it's got to be a brew-free evening because of school the next day. My 
folks wouldn't stand for it otherwise."
 
"It'll be kind of a last unofficial get together before we get crazy with 
graduation stuff," Robert said. "I'm really proud to have been let into this 
inner-circle and feel great about our special friendship. It doesn't hurt that 
Sam and I are together."
 
"Man, everything's going well and then you have to be all mushy." Troy 
grinned to indicate he was pulling chain.
 
"Is everyone ready for a little partying in a couple of weeks?" Tommy 
asked.
 
"Absolutely," replied Sam. He looked around and everyone nodded - in 
addition to a few high-fives and knuckle taps - before ordering brunch.
 
Jeremy reflected on Robert's thoughts about Sam. He resolved that after 
the show he would bring Charlie back to the party and introduce his 
partner to the crew.
 
_____________________
 
This chapter is dedicated to LMF.  1913 - 2007.
______________________
  
TO BE CONTINUED
 

ジャック・スクライブ

 

いつもと同じ。18歳以下の人は読んじゃ駄目。

 

 

コメントは大歓迎だよ。 jack.scribe@gmail.com

 

 

―――――――――――――――

 

 

第十四章、悲しい時、楽しい時…そしてその中間

 

 

「ジェレミー。」エレン・スローンが言った。「ナオミの言う通り、ウィン兄さんの遺伝子をお前が受け継いでいたからって、母さんは驚いたりはしないよ。ウィンはいい人間だったし、お前にもウィンおじさんの真似をして、ちゃんとした人生を歩んで欲しいと思っている。お前のその友達がカールの半分でもいい人間なら、お前はラッキーな子だし、私もお前の友達を私のもう一人の息子だと思って大切にするよ。」

 

ジェレミーが日曜日にマルシェで、チャーリーとザック、それにウィルと集まってから、家族3人は皆で静かな夕食を楽しんでいた。ナオミが言った通り、ジェレミーの母親はジェレミーがゲイだってことを躊躇いなく受け入れてくれた。彼女は特製のミートローフのレシピをジェレミーとナオミに教えると、二人がそれを料理する間、作り方を指示した。ジェレミーが母親にカムアウトした後、その夜の楽しい食事は、ナオミが家の近くのSweet Mandy B'sで買ってきた、バナナチョコチップケーキで締めくくられた。姉弟は母親がニュースと、その後でジェイ・レノのトゥナイトショーを観始めると、二人でキッチンの後片付けを始めた。ジェレミーはしばらくすると、あくびをしながらもう寝る時間だって決めた。母親の額にキスをすると「ママ愛してる、お休みなさい。」って伝える。ジェレミーは週末のダンスの後でかなり疲れていた。特に男だけのショーの後で。それに夕食は無事に終わったけど、やっぱり精神的に緊張していたから、終わると気が抜けてしまった。

 

次の朝7時に、ぐっすり寝てリフレッシュしたジェレミーはブリーフ姿で起き上がると、朝勃ちが収まるのを待ってトイレを済ませ、コーヒーを作るためにキッチンに行った。リビングから朝のテレビショーの音が聞こえて、直ぐに何かがおかしいって気が付いた。母親がそんな時間にリビングにいるなんて変だ。彼女はそんな朝早くから起きていたことなんてない。ジェレミーは母親に近づいて、直ぐに何が起こったか理解した。エレン・スローンの目はぼんやり前を見詰めていて、口が開いたままだった。震えがジェレミーの身体を走り抜け、子供の頃の思い出が心の中に急激に点滅した。「ああ、ママ。」ジェレミーは母親の動かない身体に向かって呟いた。「これでお終いなの?」震えながら、指を噛むと、突然涙がこみ上げてきた。

 

だけど反射的にボーイスカウトとして受けたトレーニングを思い出すと、ジェレミーは母親の鼓動を探ろうとした…反応無し。そっと母親の目を閉じると、その動かない、平和な身体を見詰めながら、しばらくの間涙が流れるのに任せた。それからテレビのリモートを掴むとテレビを消して、姉の部屋に急いだ。ジェレミーはナオミはその日は学校の授業がなくて、起きるのが遅いのを知っていた。

 

 

「ナオミ、起きて。」ジェレミーは大きな声を出すと、寝室のドアを叩いた。「姉さんに助けて欲しいんだ。」ジェレミーの叫ぶような声は、喉がギュッと絞まると変な掠れ声になった。

 

 

「今、行くわ。」部屋の中で声がした。「一体全体どうしたって言うの?」ナオミがドアを上げると、ジェレミーを混乱した表情で見た。いつもの通り、古くて大きなTシャツしか着ていない。

 

 

「母さんが…亡くなったんだ。リビングで。」ジェレミーが焦ってそれだけ言った。

 

「ああ…なんてこと。」ナオミがローブを掴むと、ジェレミーについてリビングに行く間にそれを着た。

 

「ほんのちょっと前に見つけたんだ。まだテレビがついてた。それで、僕、お母さんの目を閉じて、テレビを消して、脈も測ってみた。」

 

 

看護学校の生徒であるナオミは、手首と喉の両方をチェックして、母親の生死を確認した。そして立ち上がるとぐったりした母親を悲しそうに見た。母は椅子にかけたまま眠っているように見える。「ジェレミー、母さんは多分ほんの何時間か前に亡くなったのよ…テレビがまだついてたっていうことは、きっと午前1時前だったのね。」ナオミは顔を顰めて涙を堪えようとしたけど出来なかった。

 

ジェレミーは姉を引き寄せると抱き締めた。「姉さん、大丈夫だよ。」ナオミが泣くと、ジェレミーも涙が溢れてきた。「これが母さんの寿命だったんだ。」ジェレミーの涙はゆっくり、止まることなく流れ続けた。

 

 

ナオミはジェレミーの裸の胸を濡らして、激しく泣いた。そうしてしばらくするとようやく泣き声が静かになった。それからナオミが大きく息を吸い込むとジェレミーの目を見上げて言った。「ありがとう、ジェア。もう私は大丈夫よ。警察に電話して、何があったか伝えて貰える?そしたら緊急医療チームが呼び出されて、ママの志望を確認してくれるわ。」

 

 

「分かった、そうするよ。他にすることはある?」

 

「いいえ…今は何も。私は急いで服を着るから、あなたもそうして。それと歯も磨いておいた方が良いわね。長い朝になると思うから。」

 

 

「そうだね。」ジェレミーはナオミが母親の傍に静かに佇んでいる間に、電話をかけるためにキッチンに行った。

 

 

15分もしないうちに緊急医療チームがやって来ると、ジェレミーがドアを開けて彼らを中に入れた。その数分後に、シカゴ警察もやって来た。彼らのインタビューの記録が取られ、死体の硬直から死亡時刻が推定されると、皆、死因は自然死で、死亡時刻は午前1時だったていうことで合意した。警察官が検死官に連絡すると、検死をせずにすませても構わないっていう許可が出た。そして815分に医療チームと警察がいなくなると、疲れ切った二人は、何か「普通」のことをする必要を感じていたから、コーヒーを作るためにキッチンに向かった。

 

 

 

「ママが長くないのは知ってたけど、ママの…死体が隣の部屋にあって、もう2度とママと話せないなんて、凄く変だ。」ジェレミーはコーヒーの分量を習慣的に適当に計ると、コーヒーメーカーに水を注いだ。

 

 

「夕べのディナーがママとの最後の食事になったのね…本当に貴重な時間だった。ママは幸せだったし、私たちが作ったミートローフを喜んでくれた。」ナオミの悲しげな微笑がまた溢れ出した涙を隠した。

 

「うん…僕もそう感じた。ボビーに電話して何が起こったか話すよ。ボビーが学校に連絡して、僕が休むって伝えてくれると思う。」

 

「そうね。私もクラスメートに連絡するわ。それからノースウェスタンに電話する。」

 

 

 

スローン夫人は何年か前に、医療の研究のために自分の遺体を献体するって決めると、ノースウェスタン大学の医学部でそのための手続きを済ませていた。身体の弱っていた夫人の決心は、良い市民としての義務を果たすためでもあったけど、それよりも経済的な理由が主だった。家族は葬式や火葬の費用を出すことが出来ないほど貧しかったから、これが「私が死んだ後で皆が困らない」一番簡単な方法だってスローン夫人は言っていた。だから姉弟が支払う必要のある唯一の費用は、クック郡の死亡診断書の発行のための20ドルだけだった。

 

 

ジェレミーとナオミはそれぞれの考えに耽りながら静かにリビングに座った。時々、二人は母親についての思い出を語り合った。口には出さなかったけど、これが母親を見る最後になるだろうって二人には分かっていた。数時間後、医学部から2人のアシスタントが遺体を引取りにやって来た。遺体が車輪つきのベッドに横たえられ、灰色のボディバッグに横たえられると、ナオミが書類にサインした。二人の姉弟はアパートの外に停められたバンまでついていくと、最後のお別れを言った。それはもう11時近くで、外には暗い灰色の空が広がっていた。

 

 

 

エレンの両親もウィンおじさんも亡くなっていたから、連絡するべき親戚は誰もいなかった。二人は最後に保険会社に連絡すると、口座に最後の支払いを済ませ、社会保険も同様にした。

 

 

「シャワーを浴びてしばらくの間アパートから出たほうがいいと思うわ。ママの物は後で片付けましょう。どこかでランチを食べて、それからカトリックの教会に行ったらどうかと思うの。私達はカトリック教徒じゃないけど、キャンドルに灯りをともして、ママのためにお祈りをするのが良いことだって気がするのよ。」

 

 

「姉さん、それはとってもいいアイディアたよ。ベルモントにあるAnn Sather'sで食べたらどうかな?教会にも近いし。チャーリーにもメッセージを残しておくよ。彼は4時までクラスがあるんだ。」

 

 

「いいわよ。お祈りをすませたら、ママの物を整理しましょう。家族の写真とか書類のある場所は大体分かってるから。それでもしあなたが構わないなら午後3時の仕事に行きたいんだけど。忙しくしていたいし、病院はそれに最適な場所だから。」

 

 

「僕は多分チャーリーといるよ。もし姉さんがアパートに戻って僕がいなくても心配しないで。明日はちゃんと学校に行くから。」

&nbs